MensNet
Reports from:
Summer '97 Network Retreat -
The Many Paths of Pro-feminist Men
Pictures of the retreat
July 24 - 27th, 1997 held again at Wanaki
Men's Network for Change
Annual General Meeting
July 27, 1995 Wanaki-on-the-Ottawa
The tenth gathering of the Men's Network for Change entitled "The Many
Paths of Pro-feminist Men", involved 24 participants. They included
Joe
Vienneau, Robyn Harvey, John Thorp, Jean Brown Tricky, Maria Shin, John
Fisher, Jerome St-Denis, Floyd Kelly, Phil Burge, Michael Kaufman, Harvey
Schacter, and Clifford Clark. The following participants were present on
Sunday morning for the Annual General Meeting: Richard Briggs, Bill Usher,
Ian Russell, Paul Lafleur, Ray Jones, Kevin Simpson, Michael Deloughery,
Ken Fisher, Murray Thorpe, Jack Wiggin, Bob Neufeld and well-chaired by
Bob
Thompson.
The day before the AGM, the following met to discuss the decision to
exclude a former member from the retreat and the future of the MNC. Present
for this were: Michael Deloughery, Ken Fisher, Ray Jones, Michael Kaufman,
Paul Lafleur, Bob Neufeld, Harvey Schacter, Bob Thomson, Bill Usher and
Jack Wiggin. The **Decision to Exclude** was discussed and respected. The
**Motion to Dissolve** was largely formulated in the course of that
discussion.
On Sunday morning, Bob Thompson called the AGM to order.
* FINANCIAL STATEMENT
Ken Fisher reported the the MNC-Ottawa account had a balance of $630.25,
that there were no outstanding bills and that the conference cost of $1875
was balanced. All present nodded their agreement with the financial report.
* MOTION TO DISSOLVE THE MEN'S NETWORK FOR CHANGE
PROLOGUE to the motion to dissolve written and read by Ray Jones
"The MNC is (almost) no more.
"The seminal men's group, which was formed at a gathering in Orangeville,
Ontario, in the spring of 1989, approached its end on July 27, 1997, in
Pontiac, Quebec.
"At a men's gathering at Ken Fisher's bed and breakfast and retreat
centre,
it was acknowledged that for a number of years, the MNC had not functioned
as the Network it was intended to be, and that it should therefore be put
to rest.
"The Ottawa-Outaouais Ritual Group, (formerly called the Ottawa-Outaouais
MNC Caucus) which has carried on the work of the MNC for four years, and
has tried unsuccessfully many times to pass it on, made it abundantly clear
that it wanted to end its own association with the MNC.
"It was the recommendation of the gathering that the Kingston Men's
Conference in October, 1997, would be the right time and place to more
formally put the MNC to rest.
"It is perhaps important here to say a word about the spirit in which
that
might take place:
"The MNC has played an important role in the lives of a great many
people
in Canada and beyond. To mention one example, Michael Kaufman spoke of
some of the links between the MNC (and the Kingston and Grindstone Island
Men's Conferences) in the development of the White Ribbon Campaign, which
is quickly becoming international in scope.
"Therefore, at Kingston, it would be both useful and respectful to
conduct
an event that celebrated the life of the MNC rather than simply noting its
demise.
"Finally, I can't resist saying that, like Monty Python's infamous
dead
parrot, the MNC may be well and truly kaput, but its life was colourful
and
its memory will live on."
Motion to dissolve the Men's Network for Change written up and read by Ken.
"The Men's Network for Change was established in the Spring of 1989.
It is
now the time to acknowledge the completion of it existence.
"Among its major accomplishments were:
-the establishment of a safe space for pro-feminist men to gather
-the mobilization of men across Canada to express their opposition to
violence against women (expressed in our support for the White Ribbon
Campaign, Men for Change Halifax [Healthy Relations Curriculum], Manitoba
Men's Network, Metro Men Against Violence - Toronto, etc.)
-the creation of a community of gay, straight, bi-sexual and transgendered
men.
"As we move towards closure, please stand and join with me in the reading
of the Mission Statement.
.............................................................................
Mission Statement was read.
We all therefore agree, that the Men's Network for Change be dissolved.
........................................................
The Ottawa-Outaouais Ritual Group (probably to be renamed again) intends
to
continue its quarterly gatherings and summer retreats for all men of good
will who espouse the values of the Men's Network for Change AND the
behaviours as stated in the Process Guidelines developed on Grindstone
Island .
Some members of that group will continue to commit, for no less than
another year, to operate an information exchange service under the name
MENSNET. This would involve occasional mailings to those interested in
pro-feminist news and events. Those wishing to subscribe would be asked
to
send $5 each year for the service.
The MNC account, co-signed by Michael Deloughery (web site manager) and
Ken
Fisher (data-base and mailings) has a balance of $630.25. They have agreed
to continue offering these services. The web site costs about $150 per year
at this moment.
We wish that the funds that are currently in the MNC: Ottawa account be
transferred to the program called MENSNET to support the continuation of
the service mentioned and the possibility of an annual summer retreat. We
think this appropriate because these monies were given for the services
that will nevertheless continue despite the dissolution of the MNC.
It is the hope of this, the last MNC - AGM, that the fall Kingston
Conference would facilitate an event that would formally acknowledge the
dissolution of the Men's Network for Change and related decisions made here
and now.
All present nodded their agreement. The AGM and retreat ended with the
singing of Bill Usher's song, "Be Here Now" and a felicitous Closing
Circle
led by Bob Neufeld.
X-From_: mensnet@magi.com Fri Aug 1 07:55:22 1997
X-Sender: mensnet@magi.com
Mime-Version: 1.0
Date: Fri, 1 Aug 1997 08:00:53 -0400
To: mensnet@magi.com
From: Mac Gervan <mgervan@cgocable.net> (by way of Mens Network for
Change)
Subject: Re: AGM Report on the Dissolution of the MNC
MensNet received the following message from Mac Gervan following the
posting about AGM Report. I asked Mac and he agreed to have it distributed.
Michael for MensNet
*******************************************
I found the following quite emotional in a lot of ways...A lot of
history...a lot of good work...and many good friends...
Mac
A reflection on the dissolution of the MNC
Bob Thomson, July 27, 1997
A decade ago a group of my friends held a memorial service for a dear
colleague who died at the very beginning of realizing a long held dream
of continuing his commitment to social justice as a worker priest in
Brazil. Sitting in a circle, we remembered what impact Bill had on
each of our lives. At the end of that hour, we realized that Bill was
there in the room with us, and that his life continued in a myriad of tiny
ways
through each of us, as a collective mirror of the impact of his own life.
David Suzuki often begins a public speech by reminding the audience
that, having sat together in a room for even a relatively brief period
of time, through our breathing, each and every one of us now shares
the molecules of ALL the others in the room, and that, both physically and
metaphorically, we are all a part of each other. On mentioning this to Jack
Wiggins, he commented to me that the human body is a form, through which
matter and energy flows, with only the physical form remaining constant.
The MNC has not died. It has disappeared as a structure, but it lives on
in the lives of all of us who were impacted by it, as a formal network,
as a venue for action, learning and fellowship or as a symbol of the
values we all strive to promote in our many lives and actions within
and outside our coming together in the MNC.
Some of us feel something important to us has died. Some even feel it
has been killed. At Winaki, in July 1997, those present agreed that it
had transformed, and that the time had come to recognize this passage
of one form of energy to another, or many other forms. We agreed to
dissolve the MNC as a formal structure and to celebrate and commemorate
the very real contribution it made to us as individuals and as a collective,
at the Kingston Mens Conference October 24-26, 1997. This celebration should
also help to remind us of the values and energies which drove the MNC, and
to stimulate us to carry those forward in the new forms of organization
and action that we have chosen as individuals and together to express our
desire for a better world.
To all Changing Men gathering in Ottawa this weekend:
Greetings to you all from Men For Change in Halifax. Our warm thoughts and
deep desire
that you can recharge and affirm your energy and commitment to do the
work of celebrating masculinity and challenging violence. A special
hello the tremendous men I had the privilege of meeting at last years
event. It was a fine time and a great feeling that we are not alone on
the East Coast doing what we can to heal relationhships and society.
Some of you may be interested to know what we are up to here in Halifax.
This August we have a very busy schedule revolving around our Healthy
Relationships Curriculum. We have sort of a Bermuda Triangle of Violence
prevention happening simultaneously. The second week of August Andrew
Safer and myself will be facilitating a 2 day inservice with 50+
educators that work with Juvenile Offenders in the Los Angeles County
Office of Education. We are training them to use the program and they
ahve paid us to do it. Needless to say I will stay an extra week to see
the sights. My Dad will be joining me for the vacation. As we roast in
the August sun Judy Farnell one of the teachers in NS who uses our
program will be presenting to a teachers conference in Alaska. the third
point of the triangle is the presentation Roger Davies will be making at
a conference in Ireland.
Our regular activities of quarterly gatherings (solstice and equinox) at
the farm,
school outreach program and reflection groups twice a month continues.
That's it from the east. All the best gentlemen!
Peter Davison
Men For Change
Box 33005, Quinpool P.O.
B3L 4T6 Halifax, NS Canada
(902) 492-4104
This is the letter that prompted the discussions at the Retreat that lead
to the dissolution of the MNC.
X-From_: DAVID.NOBBS@CHRC.chrc-ccdp.x400.gc.ca Thu Jul 24 10:15:17 1997
Date: 24 Jul 1997 09:41:12 -0400
From: "DAVID NOBBS at EMPLOYMENT AND PAY EQUITY" <DAVID.NOBBS@CHRC.chrc-ccdp.x400.gc.ca>
To: bthomson@web.net
Cc: mensnet@magi.com
Subject: Open Letter to the Summer '97 Network Retreat
Importance: normal
Autoforwarded: FALSE
Priority: normal
In our absence, we wish to have our concerns granted an open and constructive
hearing at the 1997 MNC Conference and Summer '97 Network Retreat.
To the above Participants and those concerned about the Men?s Network for
Change (MNC):
This letter is intended to start talking about our concerns on
- how people are allowed to participate in the MNC
- who gets to participate
- how differences and conflicts are dealt with, and
- the process of resolution if any, is conducted.
We acknowledge that process concerns have been integral to the life of the
MNC since it inception in 1988.
This letter is prompted by the dis-invitation of David Nobbs to the MNC
conference being held Ken Fisher's Bed and Breakfast this July. We wish
to initiate, a dialogue, beginning initially by focusing on the 1996 MNC
conference.
What follows is a brief, partial taste of our concerns, and dismay, about
the facilitation of the 1996 conference and its aftermath.
At the outset of a session taking up a group discussion on the future of
the MNC, there is a general buzz at the workshop that things need to change
at the MNC. Conference facilitators Paul Lafleur and Michael Deloughery
state that they are following the direction of the group, are tired of all
the work they are doing, want to pass on much of the responsibilities and
leadership of the MNC to others, bring in new blood to make the organization
functional. Ken Fisher is cooking, consistent with his declaration that
he is not involved in the workshop.
Some participants in the workshop wanted to rewrite the mission statement;
Paul Lafleur as facilitator opens the mission statement session by summarizing
that the mission statement of the MNC is crap.... and conveyed some of the
thoughts of their workshop?s participants: too much emphasis on feminism,
not positive enough, too dogmatic, and not a good way to reach out to men
(Group brainstorm notes from the conference describe some of the concerns
about the Mission Statement, also see evaluation from Phil).
David and Bill, who are for changing the mission statement, but also have
concerns about what the group is changing it to, for example: not including
a strong emphasis of feminism as a core value of the MNC. Our concerns were
interpreted by many group members and facilitators as blocking and taking
away the energy of the group. There were numerous suggestions that this
was occurring because we were "old guard" and if only we had spent
the preceding two days with the group we would not be thinking the way we
were.
As the workshop progressed communication became more difficult and alienating
(please note references to "hot" discussion made in written material
on the workshop). The "old guard" label was firmly applied to
David and Bill and attempts to get into the greys of the discussion only
perpetuated the polarization. Bill and David raised concerns with the facilitators
on how they were representing/conveying/framing the issue to the group.
Just to give you one view of the taste of the conference atmosphere, at
one point Ken came to the group and gave a ten minute or so speech on letting
go/old guard which resulted in spirited applause from most of the group.
Another example of atmosphere and process at the conference
was having one of the men who was helping facilitate the Plenary gleefully
state to Bill that he had not ever read the MNC Mission Statement and that
he just wanted to get the job done.
David?s contact with the Core Group has been minimal since then, consisting
of two brief phone calls last October to Ken Fisher, who either refused
to talk to David or tersely informed him that until his aberrant personality
traits were resolved by him, he wished to have nothing further to do with
him. David has had no other MNC-related dealings, excepting the receipt
of the 1997 Conference Program and Mensnet mailings, nor invitations to
local MNC Rituals (which he has at times hosted at his residence in the
Gatineau Hills since 1992).
Early in the spring Bill asked Michael if he was interested in together
writing about the 1996 conference as a way of countering a polarized and
conflicted approach. Michael said that he would want to meet first and address
what happened at the conference before he could consider co-authoring with
Bill.
David had a telephone message on Monday from Michael telling him not to
come to the any part of the Conference, even if he were to submit to a full
accountability session explaining and apologizing for previous events from
the past year and beyond.
These experiences over the last year raise important concerns -- personal,
procedural and political-- about the MNC as an organization.
We could begin by asking how, who and what criteria are being used in selecting
the particular
issue or conflict to be addressed by the MNC? It is crucial that we insure
the criteria for banning individuals be fairly and evenly applied to all
those involved in the MNC.
Sincerely yours
Bill Dare David Nobbs
cc Ken Fisher, Michael Kaufman, Ian Russell, Harvey Schacter, Bob Thomson,
Jack Wiggin, Mensnet Conference site
Pre-Retreat Information
This retreat is a chance to network, relax and recharge with other men who
have some resonance with these two paragraphs:
"The process that leads men to accept the current norms of masculinity
and the domination of some men over others, leaves us all brutalized, limited
and angry. We usually do not acknowledge our isolation, fear, frustration
and alienation. Women, children, the planet and indeed ourselves, suffer
the consequences."
"Do you dream of a society where men no longer dominate women, children
or other men; where all humans can reclaim their full potential; and where
men will celebrate our passion, our strength and our capacity to nurture,
to love and be loved?"
(Adapted from 1989 Orangeville Mission Statement)
This is the tenth Men's Network for Change National Get-together! THE MANY
PATHS OF PRO-FEMINIST MEN is the title for this year's event to be held
July 24-27, 1997 at Wanaki-on-the-Ottawa (near Luskville) just thirty minutes
west of Ottawa in the province of Quebec.
Why The Many Paths of Pro-feminist Men?
This network links many paths:
1.Men working in a great variety of ways against sexism, patriarchy and
homophobia, and are opposed to the many forms of violence in our world.
2. Men who want to continue to explore the experiences that promote co-creative
relationships: offer healing, bodywork,experience men's spirituality, develop
boundless resources of loving energy and nurture the feeling of community
that is fun, respectful, open and caring.
3. Men involved with movements of social and economic justice in Canada
and internationally.
4. Men who are fathers, making efforts to be responsible, loving parents,
in committed relationships or as single dads.
In this Conference we want to facilitate many conversations about how men
can make a difference in a time when there is no one clear contradiction
but many equally important and inter-related issues affecting the future
well-being of all. We also want to have a relaxed, enjoyable time with other
caring men.
THE FRIDAY EXPERIENCE: The format of this day is open to the inventiveness
of the men who attend. There will be workshops that last a few hours or
all day, covering a variety of personal and or political topics. There may
be men who just want to spend time hiking on the escarpment, lying on the
beach or out on the river. This is a chance to explore new concepts, try
a different experience or just recharge your energy cells.
THE SATURDAY DIALOGUE: At the beginning of this century, women began to
question how roles, power and resources where distributed. This movement
became the feminism that has so profoundly affected all our lives. Among
feminists there is a great diversity of viewpoints on what feminism is and
what it will evolve into. This could also be said for the anti-racism and
gay/lesbian movements.
Saturday will focus on a day long dialogue to share our vision for the future.
How do we want to co-create a society as we approach the end of this century?
We want to first listen and so we will have a panel of individuals speaking
from their experience, each offering insight into one or more of these four
following aspects: pro-feminist, gay-affirmative, anti-racist and male positive.
Then we will have opportunities to talk with the panelists and each other.
The panelists are:
Michael Kaufman, author and co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign: Men
Against Violence Against Women;
John Fisher, Executive Director of Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere;
Maria Shin, local anti-racist and anti-violence against women activist as
well as a movie producer; and Jean Brown Tricky, feminist and race-relations
activist in Ottawa. As a youth, Jean was among the first group of Blacks
to integrate White high schools in Arkansas in the mid-fifties. Maria and
Jean are currently working together on a movie featuring Jean's story.
THE COMMUNITY SPIRIT: During the evenings we will offer times to share stories,
have a campfire, sing, make music and dance, just hang out, eat great food,
develop friendships and enjoy yourself. At all previous meetings like this,
we have laughed a lot, cried a little, and left with a feeling of connection
that gave us energy to continue.
THE SUNDAY CONCENSUS will be a pulling together and conducting MNC business.
There will also be time for relaxing on the beach or in the water.
For more information, contact:
Ken Fisher, Conference Hub
133 avenue des Plages Pontiac (Luskville) QC J0X 2G0
voice (819) 455-9295 fax (819) 455-9213 e-mail kfisher@magi.com
Conference information update?
Visit the MNC www site, mensnet at
http://infoweb.magi.com/~mensnet/
******For those near Ottawa, if you can't come for the weekend, we invite
you to join us for all-day Saturday . Registration for the day is $25 and
includes lunch and supper. Be sure to stay for the party. Let us know if
you are coming in advance so we can have enough food prepared.******
1996 MNC Conference
Report Report -A report on last years conference