Subject:  McCain shot in the face by Vice-Presidential nominee Palin, apologizes


Apparently eager to prove herself qualified as a Republican Vice-President,
and demonstrate a mastery of firearms expected of Alaskan politicians, newly
anointed McCain running mate Sarah Palin went hunting for polar bears
stranded due to a lack of pack ice in Alaska this weekend.  Palin and her
father would sometimes wake at 3 a.m. to hunt moose before school.

Despite her experience, however, during the Labor Day weekend trip, she
accidentally shot her running mate in the face with a shotgun.  McCain
promptly apologized for having embarassed Palin and was helicopter-lifted to
hospital where he was pronounced ``stunned but physically capable''.
Doctors diplomatically sidestepped the question of McCain's mental fitness -
one, who declined to be named, did say that McCain seemed to be ``less
insane at least than any of those other Republican candidates''.  When
questioned about their assessment of Palin and her own sanity, the doctor
shrugged and said ``hey, at least she's not Huckabee.  That guy's nuts.''

Some Alaskans including Governor Palin's former Congress liaison Larry
Persily had referred to Palin as ``not qualified, she doesn't have the
judgment, to be next in line to the president of the United States.''   He
attributed her election to the unpopularity of then-Governor Frank
Murkowski, whom Palin defeated in the Republican primary by running on a
platform of overhauling state government. ``He created her.''

Republican mayor of Fairbanks Jim Whitaker said that while he is``still an
avid supporter'' of Palin as governor, he will continue to back Democratic
presidential nominee Barack Obama.

Alaska Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell defended Palin's readiness to serve
as vice president. ``Of course she is,'' he told reporters on an Aug. 29
conference call. ``She is an executive by nature.  You can see that in the
way she holds the gun, aims it in someone's face and fires.  Then as she
calmly accepts their apology as her right.  It shows poise.''

McCain, on Fox today, was questioned about why he apologized to her.
``Well,'' he said, ``it was personally embarassing to her and let's face it,
she's pretty hot.  Hot women can do what they want - anyone who gets in
their way is wrong.  That's the American way - image first - it's an
important lesson I learned from the media.  Sarah's an independent spirit
that has taken on opponents at every opportunity.  She fires or fires at
anyone in her way.  You might even say she's crazy.  She's my kind of
girl.''  McCain ended the interview by trailing off mumbling about the wrong
side winning in Vietnam and how torture is OK except on himself.

McCain made no mention of other incidents where Palin fired or fired at
anyone.  Palin is currently enmeshed in a legislative investigation of her
July 11 firing of the state's public safety commissioner, Walt Monegan. He
has since asserted that he received pressure from Palin's family and
administration to fire a state trooper involved in a contentious divorce
from Palin's sister. 

Conservative Republicans have also criticized Palin's taking on even more
responsibilities despite having given birth in April 2008 to her fifth child
Trig, with Down's Syndrome.  She returned to office just three days
afterwards.  Contacted for comment about any potential neglect by his own
mother, Trig merely drooled, looked dull, and stared at his own fingers.